Little alters everywhere

A few days ago I realized that in our house we have, for a long time, harboured a supreme lack of faith. In the Waldorf philosophy, there is much emphasis put on simply the power of magic of belief. When I first started reading the world of Rudolph Steiner I was 19 years old, and positive that the direction that the world was going to take me in was that of farmer. I was sure of it. I loved the soil and it’s freedom like nobody’s business. And then, I discovered Steiner and biodynamics. It lended itself in the perfect mix of magic and practical. It made sense in my brain because it relied on the power of a higher power- whether it was through religion or the earth’s mystery, I didn’t care. I needed faith in the dirt.

In the years since, I discovered in just how many ways Steiner put forth his views. My husband told me when he first read Steiner he was shocked back to his Mormon upbringing by how eloquent he was. He just had something on everything. He (Steiner) was “touched by the angels,”  which is something I would have never believed until I let go of the power of my own atheist upbringing and allowed myself the luxury of believing in something. I won’t say that age thirty I began to believe, because that is simply not the truth. I will say, however, that I have begun to give weight to the power of the earth and it’s many unexplained miracles. I began to understand that every life needs a little more then magic to get through- even if that added umph is simply the belief IN magic.

I realized how important it is to raise children with the utmost faith in the certainty that there is a world of unknown – and in that unknown, miracles can occur. My seven-year old began asking me this past December how did I know Father Christmas was coming… ? And much later on…. by the way, are fairies REAL? And how about unicorns? I told her with all the seriousness I could muster that Father Christmas comes to children who believe that he will be there (which is, in most ways the truth) and OF COURSE fairies are real. I said I didn’t know about unicorns, mostly because I’ve never seen one, but that doesn’t mean much. I asked her if she thought they existed, and she said, “Yes…,” rather tentatively.  I realized then that at about this age is when it happens. The practical mind starts to let go of the possibilities of the magics of young childhood.  I had hoped to have it last a bit longer, so both my wee ones were enjoying this at the same time, but now I understand that my big girl will help it remain for her little sister. And I’m ok with this.

In all the thoughts I had about the magic in our lives, I realize that both my oldest daughter and I set up alters. Perhaps unintentionally, perhaps unwittingly, but they are there, none-the-less. Giving a sense of normalcy and peace in our otherwise cluttered, madness, nonsense world.

(ida)

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